I've been married for almost two weeks...
We've been in our place for almost a week, which means...
-two trips to ikea, buckets of drool.
-a few panicked moments amongst piles of boxes, particle board, and wooden pegs.
-joyful and FREE shopping sprees at Bed Bath and Beyond and Target (alright for gift cards and store credit!).
-Two test run paint colors on the wall.
-Lots of fussing at the darling cat for sharpening her nails on the new couch.
-A massive and ever growing pile of now soaking wet cardboard on the back deck.
-New outdoor furniture, gazebo, and plans and supplies for our garden
We're getting there, people!
Let me tell you, married life has been fabulous, even at 3 in the morning over a plate of grilled cheese and baked lays. I think we've done a pretty good job so far at making this place home. Once its fully finished I'll post a picture of our humble abode. We've prayed every night together over this little home and over this neighborhood, St. John's. We're excited and scared and curious all at the same time.
Anyways, just a quick update today. You'll hear more from us later!
Friday, July 9, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Where My Loyalty Lies
Hi there!
It has been a very busy two months! Goodness, sorry for keeping you readers out of the loop for so long.
I will be a bride to the most incredible man on this planet (sorry guys) in 10 days. I am beyond excited. But man these last two weeks are taking FOREVER. Im so ready to just get there and start that march down the aisle whether my dress fits or not (seriously..haha) And on to THE HONEYMOON. The recent lingerie shower has only made me more excited (ahah)
Anyways let me fill you in:
I'm dropping out of school, and I couldn't be any happier with the decision. On top of that, Brent has gone before me and moved our things to Austin, into one of the poorest neighborhoods in the city. That wasn't an accident. Our church, Austin Stone Community Church, is building a non-profit center right down the street from our new home. It will be home to a 600 seat worship center, offices, and 4 austin non-profits, and I reaaallllyyy want to get a job with one of them. So I am praying about that. But we are super excited to be a bigger part of our church community, now serving St. Johns neighborhood.
Even though Brent and I are happy, not everyone else is. A couple weeks ago a woman that Brent and I were talking to told us "I'm going to have to tell you that I am very disappointed that neither of you are going back to school, but I guess I will just have to get over it." When she said that, I was a little shocked that someone who isnt a family member or significant part of our lives would say something like that. Brent trudged right through it but I stepped out of the conversation right then. Im not upset with this person now. I cant expect her or very many others to react any differently. We've become a society that demands a higher education in order to become the American Success and make up for our government's financial mistakes (I won't go into depth on that). When I was praying about this decision to drop out of school, I was constantly affirmed through conversations, sermons, and God's word. Our pastor mentioned two different times the effect that the 'American Dream' has had on our spiritual and material lives. Some other preaching pastor at our church mentioned briefly the sometimes worthless toil towards personal success, and though he did not imply that a higher education or personal goals is bad when indeed these are good things, I understood then exactly what he was saying.
God has made it clear to me: I am not defined by a college degree, nor by the personal standards pushed upon me by my society.
I am defined by His sovereign will for my life, and his everlasting love for me
I am trusting, no matter what anyone says about disappointment or failure, that God knows the plans He has for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me. (Jeremiah 29:11) He has already gone before me and laid out the path that I am supposed to walk. He is sovereign! And I couldn't be more excited to see the incredible and trying things that lay ahead! I know I wont make much money because I don't have my masters in this or that, but I know that my treasures are stored up in heaven and no moth or thief can reach them there. I am reminded of the hymn 'Tis So Sweet' and I'll sing it in my soul through out this whole crazy life that I am living.
I couldn't be more blessed with Brent. The very moment I started questioning my place at college, he looked me square in the eyes and promised me that he was by my side no matter what I chose. He helped me to believe that I am defined by Christ's love and plan for me and nothing else. Brent never once was disappointed in me or nervous about my ability to make the right decision. What an incredible man I get to marry! I get to spend the rest of my life with my very best friend who doesn't care about my paycheck, my waist size, or my weaknesses. He just loves me, and he is a constant reminder of how incredible God's love is. If I am so loved by a sinful human being, how can I fathom such a perfect Love that covers me everyday. Praise Him!!
Thank you God for the courage to follow your whisper! Thank you for the support, no matter that size, that I have urging me to look to the cross. Thank you for being my answer, for guidance, for value, and for the plans you have for my life!
more soon, y'all!
Jeremiah 29:11-13
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all of your heart.
^such truth!!!!^
It has been a very busy two months! Goodness, sorry for keeping you readers out of the loop for so long.
I will be a bride to the most incredible man on this planet (sorry guys) in 10 days. I am beyond excited. But man these last two weeks are taking FOREVER. Im so ready to just get there and start that march down the aisle whether my dress fits or not (seriously..haha) And on to THE HONEYMOON. The recent lingerie shower has only made me more excited (ahah)
Anyways let me fill you in:
I'm dropping out of school, and I couldn't be any happier with the decision. On top of that, Brent has gone before me and moved our things to Austin, into one of the poorest neighborhoods in the city. That wasn't an accident. Our church, Austin Stone Community Church, is building a non-profit center right down the street from our new home. It will be home to a 600 seat worship center, offices, and 4 austin non-profits, and I reaaallllyyy want to get a job with one of them. So I am praying about that. But we are super excited to be a bigger part of our church community, now serving St. Johns neighborhood.
Even though Brent and I are happy, not everyone else is. A couple weeks ago a woman that Brent and I were talking to told us "I'm going to have to tell you that I am very disappointed that neither of you are going back to school, but I guess I will just have to get over it." When she said that, I was a little shocked that someone who isnt a family member or significant part of our lives would say something like that. Brent trudged right through it but I stepped out of the conversation right then. Im not upset with this person now. I cant expect her or very many others to react any differently. We've become a society that demands a higher education in order to become the American Success and make up for our government's financial mistakes (I won't go into depth on that). When I was praying about this decision to drop out of school, I was constantly affirmed through conversations, sermons, and God's word. Our pastor mentioned two different times the effect that the 'American Dream' has had on our spiritual and material lives. Some other preaching pastor at our church mentioned briefly the sometimes worthless toil towards personal success, and though he did not imply that a higher education or personal goals is bad when indeed these are good things, I understood then exactly what he was saying.
God has made it clear to me: I am not defined by a college degree, nor by the personal standards pushed upon me by my society.
I am defined by His sovereign will for my life, and his everlasting love for me
I am trusting, no matter what anyone says about disappointment or failure, that God knows the plans He has for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me. (Jeremiah 29:11) He has already gone before me and laid out the path that I am supposed to walk. He is sovereign! And I couldn't be more excited to see the incredible and trying things that lay ahead! I know I wont make much money because I don't have my masters in this or that, but I know that my treasures are stored up in heaven and no moth or thief can reach them there. I am reminded of the hymn 'Tis So Sweet' and I'll sing it in my soul through out this whole crazy life that I am living.
I couldn't be more blessed with Brent. The very moment I started questioning my place at college, he looked me square in the eyes and promised me that he was by my side no matter what I chose. He helped me to believe that I am defined by Christ's love and plan for me and nothing else. Brent never once was disappointed in me or nervous about my ability to make the right decision. What an incredible man I get to marry! I get to spend the rest of my life with my very best friend who doesn't care about my paycheck, my waist size, or my weaknesses. He just loves me, and he is a constant reminder of how incredible God's love is. If I am so loved by a sinful human being, how can I fathom such a perfect Love that covers me everyday. Praise Him!!
Thank you God for the courage to follow your whisper! Thank you for the support, no matter that size, that I have urging me to look to the cross. Thank you for being my answer, for guidance, for value, and for the plans you have for my life!
more soon, y'all!
Jeremiah 29:11-13
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all of your heart.
^such truth!!!!^
Monday, April 19, 2010
To Be or Not To Be...
a college graduate.
CONFESSION TIME!
That's actually kind of shocking, I know. Let me tell you, in all honesty a very big part of me wants to go against everything I ever said I would do with my education and just not finish. Is it because I'm getting married? Sort of. Not really. I've been thinking about this a lot this past month and I realized something about myself. All the majors I've tossed around in my head, all the plans to graduate with this degree and go on to graduate school earning that masters degree, it all came down to one thing:
I want to get married and raise my family amongst the poor and the lost. First, I will go to college because that is what I am supposed to do, and whatever degree I get will just help me in someway to better raise my family amongst the poor and lost and serve Jesus.
Seriously....I went in as a bio major..cause I guess some medical training would help. Then I switched to philosophy because I guess it will help me to understand others, now I wonder if I should switch to psychology because I guess I could go on to get my masters in counseling...and that will help me love others better? Medical training would help. Philosophy does expand and challenge my ideas and perceptions of others. Counseling would be a beneficial skill. I guess my big question is this, are these lessons worth the commitment of my time, the stress on my life, and especially the tuition that parents and I will pay? Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love learning. I don't love college. I know that it doesn't have anything to do with the college I'm at. For the major I'm currently in, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. But should I be paying money and time to learn what I'm learning?
A few weeks ago I read one of those little bio's about someone inspirational on the back of a Doritos bag (haha). Some girl went to china for fun after graduating high school and she was so moved by the orphans she encountered in some city that she took all of her savings, bought an acre of land and built a home for orphans. She was 18 and never moved back to the states or went to college and to this day has helped over 700 orphans find a home and a family. I mean what the hell, Why am I in college? When I read that I felt seriously frustrated, and it happened in the middle of an already troubled month of doubts, depression, and anxiety. I feel myself asking daily 'Why am I here?' Why am I writing this paper? Why am I attending this class?' I'm waking up in the middle of the night to cry, or not even falling asleep in the first place. And here's something that will for sure upset my parents. I haven't been to class in about 2 weeks. I can't pull myself out of bed because of the depression.
What am I to do? I'm praying for guidance through my tears and uncertainty and desperately trying to lean not on my own understanding. I still have the same thoughts...
Would I regret dropping out of college?
Is this the birth control talking?
Is this a sign of my calling or a sign of my laziness?
Do I really need a college degree in order to live the most fulfilling life I can?
How disappointed will my parents be? Would they ever forgive me or understand?
Will people just write this off as a mistake made by a girl who got married 'too young'?
Will I really be able to practically support a life with Brent in the states?
Can I still be successful without a degree or any valuable($$$) talents?
What is my purpose?
Those of you who read this are probably wondering what I would do with my time if I quit college. I'd work my butt off somewhere so that Brent and I could move to Haiti or wherever God directs us as soon as possible. I seriously just want to be a wife and a mom to as many kids as I can in Haiti, in India, wherever. I want to read at my own pace to educate myself and live a life open to the most important lessons of all. I guess my feelings are that college might be wasting my time, that I am here for the people not the education, and that this might not be what I am supposed to be doing.
On the flip side, my responsibility it to be obedient to God wherever I am. I am finding this VERY difficult (hence the skipping class and the procrastinating on papers and readings.) A friend reminded me that I need to finish strong and go on registering on wednesday for next semester as if I am going to finish completely. I need to continue to seriously pray about this. Who knows, God could reveal His plan for me which includes dropping out and doing missions a lot sooner than expected. Or He could whip me into shape and tell me to press on and be a light in whatever department I'm in at Texas State.
Nevertheless, I am blind to the future as I have always been. I am crying my eyes out at night thinking about what could be, what should be, and what is, but I am still without answer. Let God. Let Him answer me on his own time. Meanwhile, if you have some words, any advice, I'd love to hear it. I desperately need truth spoken into my life at this time.
CONFESSION TIME!
That's actually kind of shocking, I know. Let me tell you, in all honesty a very big part of me wants to go against everything I ever said I would do with my education and just not finish. Is it because I'm getting married? Sort of. Not really. I've been thinking about this a lot this past month and I realized something about myself. All the majors I've tossed around in my head, all the plans to graduate with this degree and go on to graduate school earning that masters degree, it all came down to one thing:
I want to get married and raise my family amongst the poor and the lost. First, I will go to college because that is what I am supposed to do, and whatever degree I get will just help me in someway to better raise my family amongst the poor and lost and serve Jesus.
Seriously....I went in as a bio major..cause I guess some medical training would help. Then I switched to philosophy because I guess it will help me to understand others, now I wonder if I should switch to psychology because I guess I could go on to get my masters in counseling...and that will help me love others better? Medical training would help. Philosophy does expand and challenge my ideas and perceptions of others. Counseling would be a beneficial skill. I guess my big question is this, are these lessons worth the commitment of my time, the stress on my life, and especially the tuition that parents and I will pay? Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love learning. I don't love college. I know that it doesn't have anything to do with the college I'm at. For the major I'm currently in, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. But should I be paying money and time to learn what I'm learning?
A few weeks ago I read one of those little bio's about someone inspirational on the back of a Doritos bag (haha). Some girl went to china for fun after graduating high school and she was so moved by the orphans she encountered in some city that she took all of her savings, bought an acre of land and built a home for orphans. She was 18 and never moved back to the states or went to college and to this day has helped over 700 orphans find a home and a family. I mean what the hell, Why am I in college? When I read that I felt seriously frustrated, and it happened in the middle of an already troubled month of doubts, depression, and anxiety. I feel myself asking daily 'Why am I here?' Why am I writing this paper? Why am I attending this class?' I'm waking up in the middle of the night to cry, or not even falling asleep in the first place. And here's something that will for sure upset my parents. I haven't been to class in about 2 weeks. I can't pull myself out of bed because of the depression.
What am I to do? I'm praying for guidance through my tears and uncertainty and desperately trying to lean not on my own understanding. I still have the same thoughts...
Would I regret dropping out of college?
Is this the birth control talking?
Is this a sign of my calling or a sign of my laziness?
Do I really need a college degree in order to live the most fulfilling life I can?
How disappointed will my parents be? Would they ever forgive me or understand?
Will people just write this off as a mistake made by a girl who got married 'too young'?
Will I really be able to practically support a life with Brent in the states?
Can I still be successful without a degree or any valuable($$$) talents?
What is my purpose?
Those of you who read this are probably wondering what I would do with my time if I quit college. I'd work my butt off somewhere so that Brent and I could move to Haiti or wherever God directs us as soon as possible. I seriously just want to be a wife and a mom to as many kids as I can in Haiti, in India, wherever. I want to read at my own pace to educate myself and live a life open to the most important lessons of all. I guess my feelings are that college might be wasting my time, that I am here for the people not the education, and that this might not be what I am supposed to be doing.
On the flip side, my responsibility it to be obedient to God wherever I am. I am finding this VERY difficult (hence the skipping class and the procrastinating on papers and readings.) A friend reminded me that I need to finish strong and go on registering on wednesday for next semester as if I am going to finish completely. I need to continue to seriously pray about this. Who knows, God could reveal His plan for me which includes dropping out and doing missions a lot sooner than expected. Or He could whip me into shape and tell me to press on and be a light in whatever department I'm in at Texas State.
Nevertheless, I am blind to the future as I have always been. I am crying my eyes out at night thinking about what could be, what should be, and what is, but I am still without answer. Let God. Let Him answer me on his own time. Meanwhile, if you have some words, any advice, I'd love to hear it. I desperately need truth spoken into my life at this time.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Haiti
Wow. Part of me just feels like letting the pictures tell the stories.
I will never forget Haiti. In fact, Brent and I are already planning on returning as often as we can. We've even talked about possibly moving there for a few months after college. Who knows? Big things ahead.
After a night in Santiago, Dominican Republic we were driven 3 hours to the border town and dropped off on the dominican side. (It's very expensive to take a car across the border) We were met by Brittany from the orphanage and some boys that she had brought for help. They loaded up our luggage on a wooden cart and took care of that from there. The rest of us just focused on following close behind and protecting our pockets. It was a Monday, market day, so it was incredibly crowded. I mean thousands of people rushing across the border in both directions. We had to walk about a mile to get across and this is what we saw:
There was a few moments where we should have feared for our lives. I'm talking hundreds of pounds of cart and rice rushing towards you down hill! Once we were all together at our truck we went on to drop our luggage off and head to the orphanage, a very quick drive. I'll be honest. When I first stepped into the church to see some of the kids from Port-au-Prince I lost it for about 20 seconds and I think it was because of Denise:
She has hydroencephalitis, or water on the brain, causing her head to swell to 26 inches. I had never seen anything like this before in my life.
Basically our job was to bless the staff as much as we could and this meant playing with kids all day. It was so much fun to be with such joyful children regardless of any kind of language barrier. Here are some pictures of the kids:
We all slept with the Port-au-Prince kids in the church building. Us girls volunteered to listen for a few of the kids who have trouble sleeping at night for various reasons. Some have nightmares, others have separation anxiety, and Denise has every reason to cry all night like she did. The little boy posing with the ball under his arm is Djery, my cuddler one of the nights when he woke up crying.
All these kids wanted from us was someone to hold and carry them. For Casey this meant two at a time
Many of the kids were especially drawn to the boys on our trip. There is only one male missionary there, so there isn't much of a father figure for several of the orphans. Many of the Port-au-Prince children just lost their fathers that were our age. Lanique is one of those kids and he also lost his arm. Brent got very attached to him and has prayed for him everyday since.
I don't know if it was the kids or if it was just Haiti, but this trip was the most powerful trip I've ever been on. I'm serious when I say we're going back as soon as we can and for as long as we can. God really tugged on both of us every day that we were there. I would go back in a heartbeat.
-sarahfina. I miss her.
(click on the blog title to visit the orphanage's website)
p.s.
-Thankyou to all of you who supported us through prayer and donation!
-This saturday we hope to resume documentary night!! All are welcome!
I will never forget Haiti. In fact, Brent and I are already planning on returning as often as we can. We've even talked about possibly moving there for a few months after college. Who knows? Big things ahead.
After a night in Santiago, Dominican Republic we were driven 3 hours to the border town and dropped off on the dominican side. (It's very expensive to take a car across the border) We were met by Brittany from the orphanage and some boys that she had brought for help. They loaded up our luggage on a wooden cart and took care of that from there. The rest of us just focused on following close behind and protecting our pockets. It was a Monday, market day, so it was incredibly crowded. I mean thousands of people rushing across the border in both directions. We had to walk about a mile to get across and this is what we saw:
There was a few moments where we should have feared for our lives. I'm talking hundreds of pounds of cart and rice rushing towards you down hill! Once we were all together at our truck we went on to drop our luggage off and head to the orphanage, a very quick drive. I'll be honest. When I first stepped into the church to see some of the kids from Port-au-Prince I lost it for about 20 seconds and I think it was because of Denise:
She has hydroencephalitis, or water on the brain, causing her head to swell to 26 inches. I had never seen anything like this before in my life.
Basically our job was to bless the staff as much as we could and this meant playing with kids all day. It was so much fun to be with such joyful children regardless of any kind of language barrier. Here are some pictures of the kids:
We all slept with the Port-au-Prince kids in the church building. Us girls volunteered to listen for a few of the kids who have trouble sleeping at night for various reasons. Some have nightmares, others have separation anxiety, and Denise has every reason to cry all night like she did. The little boy posing with the ball under his arm is Djery, my cuddler one of the nights when he woke up crying.
All these kids wanted from us was someone to hold and carry them. For Casey this meant two at a time
Many of the kids were especially drawn to the boys on our trip. There is only one male missionary there, so there isn't much of a father figure for several of the orphans. Many of the Port-au-Prince children just lost their fathers that were our age. Lanique is one of those kids and he also lost his arm. Brent got very attached to him and has prayed for him everyday since.
I don't know if it was the kids or if it was just Haiti, but this trip was the most powerful trip I've ever been on. I'm serious when I say we're going back as soon as we can and for as long as we can. God really tugged on both of us every day that we were there. I would go back in a heartbeat.
-sarahfina. I miss her.
(click on the blog title to visit the orphanage's website)
p.s.
-Thankyou to all of you who supported us through prayer and donation!
-This saturday we hope to resume documentary night!! All are welcome!
Saturday, March 6, 2010
700 Orphans
Tomorrow morning, it's go time. We're flying out of Dallas at 2:15 and headed for miami for a lay-over and then on to the Dominican. The Dominican-Haitian border has business hours...so we'll be spending sunday night in the Dominican then driving to Danita's Children Orphanage (click on the blog title!) 2 hours through the border into Haiti. Yes...700 orphans. We just found that out from our friend Daniella yesterday. I don't think I have ever seen that many kids in one place (save public school). Daniella's dad just got back a few days ago and is going again with us tomorrow. He told us a bit about how they were able to air-vac some amputee orphans out for treatment. I can't believe the trip is already here! I just wanted to update you really quick before we leave. I wont even be taking my laptop with me to haiti but after I get back I'll do a long post with some pictures. There's some other things about my philosophy classes I wanted to blog about too, so be prepared for some updates!
Pray for us!
Actually here's some things you can specifically pray about:
-Safe travels
-Flexibility, in case things don't go as planned
-Strong spirits and courage. The Voodoo is everywhere and there could be a lot of spiritual warfare
-That God would break our hearts for the children in this orphanage
-Lice! We will be sleeping with the kids for two nights and though it wouldn't be the end of the world, it would still be a nuisance
-The power of the gospel to be shown through us
Can't wait to tell you how it goes!
Pray for us!
Actually here's some things you can specifically pray about:
-Safe travels
-Flexibility, in case things don't go as planned
-Strong spirits and courage. The Voodoo is everywhere and there could be a lot of spiritual warfare
-That God would break our hearts for the children in this orphanage
-Lice! We will be sleeping with the kids for two nights and though it wouldn't be the end of the world, it would still be a nuisance
-The power of the gospel to be shown through us
Can't wait to tell you how it goes!
Monday, March 1, 2010
Waking up America!
Brent and I decided to start a dinner/documentary/discussion night about every other saturday night. Our first get together was this past saturday and turned out to be a very small one. (Thanks Taylor and Jake for coming!) It was really fun, though. After our delicious chicken tacos (yum!) we sat down to watch I.O.U.S.A.(click the title of this blog to see the movie's page) You can probably guess from the title of the documentary that its about money, and specifically about our Nation's Debt, both currently and historically. Wow, what an eye opening movie. Frightening even. I'm politically minded, so I knew the trouble that we were in, but I didn't know the specifics or even the exact degree of financial despair. Anyways, I think that this is a movie that everyone MUST see. It is a non-partisan film, so no certain party propaganda, just straight, frightening facts.
I wanted to blog about that night because the movie and our discussion proposed an excellent question: What will it take to wake up America?
For this financial issue, obviously watching the movie, showing it to as many people as possible, would be step one. But I wanted to go further
There are a lot of things that Americans need to wake up to. There are a lot of things that my friends and I need to wake up to.
In reality, this world, this country, is totally different than what we really expect. There are so many secrets, mysteries, and conspiracies out there. There are even things about our world that are not at all hidden, but rather ignored like modern slavery today. Did you know that there are more slaves this very day than there have ever been in the history of mankind. According to Anti-Slavery International and other slavery studies, about 27 Million people are in bondage today. Yet many of us are under the impression that we have conquered this issue, or we just ignore it.
This is just one example out of many. So how can I do something to wake up America, or just wake up Texas State? This bi-weekly documentary night is step one. Dinner might get people there, but the film and the following discussion will definitely keep them coming. Step two is starting an organization. I'm really hoping that I can complete the process to get a documentary club started at Texas State so that I can help make more people aware of the various issues hidden from our everyday lives.
So if you are interested in joining us saturday nights, or becoming a part of the documentary club (I will need signatures to prove that people are interested) let me know. Even if you just want to discuss the topic of our nations financial despair, or want to suggest another topic to view in film, leave a comment! (I love getting your comments!)
=)
don't forget to click on the blog title to view a 30 minute summary clip of I.O.U.S.A.
I wanted to blog about that night because the movie and our discussion proposed an excellent question: What will it take to wake up America?
For this financial issue, obviously watching the movie, showing it to as many people as possible, would be step one. But I wanted to go further
There are a lot of things that Americans need to wake up to. There are a lot of things that my friends and I need to wake up to.
In reality, this world, this country, is totally different than what we really expect. There are so many secrets, mysteries, and conspiracies out there. There are even things about our world that are not at all hidden, but rather ignored like modern slavery today. Did you know that there are more slaves this very day than there have ever been in the history of mankind. According to Anti-Slavery International and other slavery studies, about 27 Million people are in bondage today. Yet many of us are under the impression that we have conquered this issue, or we just ignore it.
This is just one example out of many. So how can I do something to wake up America, or just wake up Texas State? This bi-weekly documentary night is step one. Dinner might get people there, but the film and the following discussion will definitely keep them coming. Step two is starting an organization. I'm really hoping that I can complete the process to get a documentary club started at Texas State so that I can help make more people aware of the various issues hidden from our everyday lives.
So if you are interested in joining us saturday nights, or becoming a part of the documentary club (I will need signatures to prove that people are interested) let me know. Even if you just want to discuss the topic of our nations financial despair, or want to suggest another topic to view in film, leave a comment! (I love getting your comments!)
=)
don't forget to click on the blog title to view a 30 minute summary clip of I.O.U.S.A.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Back in Business!
I leave for Haiti in just under two weeks, during my spring break. I am THRILLED! It has been a while since I've taken the time to actually GO somewhere and help people through their trials. It will be a really great experience.
UPDATE!
It's been a veeerrrryy long time since I last blogged, over a month. I have so many thoughts and feelings running through me, and as I listen to this song (I Will Bow- Enter the Worship Circle) it all comes down to one thing: my faith. What do I have faith in? What is it's strength? What is its worth? For several days now I have been wrestling with God as Jacob does before crossing a river. To be honest I don't know when this will end or what river I will cross when its over, but this struggle has been significant for me. No longer am I able to get by with the knowledge of the God of the Bible that I already had. Everyday that passes I feel like there is a new and difficult question growing inside of me that I don't have the answer to. This isn't bad, this is just hard. My hope is that the Lord will bring me out of this struggle with greater strength, greater faith, and a greater love for Him, the things of Heaven and the people of this earth. Some days I don't know what I believe, and other days I think "How could I not?" I've seen and heard so much of the Lord's goodness and the reality of His presence, but how easy is it to forget all this when I encounter challenging mysterious things. Wait for the LORD; Be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD! (psalm 27:14) I guess that that is all that I can do. I can wait on Him to reveal Himself to me in His timing while He molds me through the fire. Meanwhile, I will continue to bow before my King, whether I see him, feel him, or hear him in these days. He is big enough to consume my doubt and give me understanding and the strength to believe.
On a lighter note, my facebook fast has been wonderful thus far. I feel like everyone should try it, for at least a few days. It's been approximately 36 days since I last logged on and I seriously have hardly missed it. Occasionally Brent will show me something on his page, but I haven't stepped a virtual foot onto my own sight or even snooped for the sake of snooping. Only about 80 days left! I can do it! (You can do it too, Sydney!!)
Well anyways, I'm back to blogging. Sorry for such a long absence. For those interested in the status of our wedding plans:
I have my dress!
We have our location!
We have our caterer!
We have our DJ!
We have our cake!
We have our wedding party!
We ALMOST have a final guest list!
Invitations are being made!
Engagement pictures have been taken and posted! (kellyhornberger.com/blog posted about 2 weeks ago)
We have a florist scheduled and tables and linens and decorations and all kinds of ideas!
So everything is going really well!
Here are the lyrics of the song I was listening to and mentioned above:
I Will Bow
Two things have I heard from the word that You have spoken
You oh God are strong, You oh God are loving
I will not be shaken
I will bow, I will Bow
Lift my eyes up from the ashes with my knees on the ground
I will bow, I will bow
Lift my eyes up from the ashes with my knees on the ground
I will bow
One thing will I seek
You and You alone
I don't have to fear, I know You are here
I will not be moved
I will bow, I will bow
Lift my eyes up from the ashes with my knees on the ground
I will bow, I will bow
Lift my eyes up from the ashes with my knees on the ground
I am pouring out my heart to You oh God
I am weak, You are strong
I am putting all my hope in You oh God
In You and to You and for You alone
I will bow, I will bow
Lift my eyes up from the ashes with my knees on the ground
I will bow, I will bow
Lift my eyes up from the ashes with my knees on the ground
I will bow, I will bow
Lift my eyes up from the ashes with my knees on the ground
I will bow, I will bow
Lift my eyes up from the ashes with my knees on the ground
I will bow, I will bow, I will bow
UPDATE!
It's been a veeerrrryy long time since I last blogged, over a month. I have so many thoughts and feelings running through me, and as I listen to this song (I Will Bow- Enter the Worship Circle) it all comes down to one thing: my faith. What do I have faith in? What is it's strength? What is its worth? For several days now I have been wrestling with God as Jacob does before crossing a river. To be honest I don't know when this will end or what river I will cross when its over, but this struggle has been significant for me. No longer am I able to get by with the knowledge of the God of the Bible that I already had. Everyday that passes I feel like there is a new and difficult question growing inside of me that I don't have the answer to. This isn't bad, this is just hard. My hope is that the Lord will bring me out of this struggle with greater strength, greater faith, and a greater love for Him, the things of Heaven and the people of this earth. Some days I don't know what I believe, and other days I think "How could I not?" I've seen and heard so much of the Lord's goodness and the reality of His presence, but how easy is it to forget all this when I encounter challenging mysterious things. Wait for the LORD; Be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD! (psalm 27:14) I guess that that is all that I can do. I can wait on Him to reveal Himself to me in His timing while He molds me through the fire. Meanwhile, I will continue to bow before my King, whether I see him, feel him, or hear him in these days. He is big enough to consume my doubt and give me understanding and the strength to believe.
On a lighter note, my facebook fast has been wonderful thus far. I feel like everyone should try it, for at least a few days. It's been approximately 36 days since I last logged on and I seriously have hardly missed it. Occasionally Brent will show me something on his page, but I haven't stepped a virtual foot onto my own sight or even snooped for the sake of snooping. Only about 80 days left! I can do it! (You can do it too, Sydney!!)
Well anyways, I'm back to blogging. Sorry for such a long absence. For those interested in the status of our wedding plans:
I have my dress!
We have our location!
We have our caterer!
We have our DJ!
We have our cake!
We have our wedding party!
We ALMOST have a final guest list!
Invitations are being made!
Engagement pictures have been taken and posted! (kellyhornberger.com/blog posted about 2 weeks ago)
We have a florist scheduled and tables and linens and decorations and all kinds of ideas!
So everything is going really well!
Here are the lyrics of the song I was listening to and mentioned above:
I Will Bow
Two things have I heard from the word that You have spoken
You oh God are strong, You oh God are loving
I will not be shaken
I will bow, I will Bow
Lift my eyes up from the ashes with my knees on the ground
I will bow, I will bow
Lift my eyes up from the ashes with my knees on the ground
I will bow
One thing will I seek
You and You alone
I don't have to fear, I know You are here
I will not be moved
I will bow, I will bow
Lift my eyes up from the ashes with my knees on the ground
I will bow, I will bow
Lift my eyes up from the ashes with my knees on the ground
I am pouring out my heart to You oh God
I am weak, You are strong
I am putting all my hope in You oh God
In You and to You and for You alone
I will bow, I will bow
Lift my eyes up from the ashes with my knees on the ground
I will bow, I will bow
Lift my eyes up from the ashes with my knees on the ground
I will bow, I will bow
Lift my eyes up from the ashes with my knees on the ground
I will bow, I will bow
Lift my eyes up from the ashes with my knees on the ground
I will bow, I will bow, I will bow
Monday, January 18, 2010
So Long, Farewell!
It is my last day of facebook for the next 4 months, so I figured I should explain the reasons that I am fasting, in more ways than one, for this entire semester.
I am a facebook addict. Most of us are, honestly. However, I am choosing to do something about this because my addiction is actually holding me back and pulling me down. I don't know when exactly I started to realize this, but my addiction was getting out of hand. You might think I am exaggerating but this is very real to me. I played a few facebook games everyday, two fish tanks and rooms full of cats and dogs, and honestly I would worry about the well being of these virtual pets. I would interrupt conversations or completely miss certain opportunities in order to take care of these pets and click around on facebook. When i started prayerfully considering this facebook fast, I got anxious about deleting my animals, as if I were abandoning living things. Sad, I know.
That's not it. I would spend hours on end profile hopping, status changing, and comment loving, all at the expense of school work and spiritual growth. I'm very serious when I say that I probably spent 3x as much time on facebook as I did studying for school, and my grades showed it. That might even be a modest estimate. This could be your story, and you might be thinking 'big deal, thats just what this generation is about,' but here is where it gets serious. My obsession with facebook became a major stumbling block in my life, spiritually and emotionally. To be completely honest with you all, facebook allowed me to be apathetic and unloving in the lives of many friends and acquaintances. I knew that all I had to do was look at so-and-so's pictures and read such-and-such status update to get my twisted need for knowledge of everyone else's business. Consider this for yourself: facebook has made us incredibly and secretly nosy. Have you ever even thought of it this way?
Yes it's an excellent tool for 'staying in touch' as we all say, but reflect as I am on what this actually means about your ability to care for a person. So many people, especially my generation, are actually nervous about communicating face to face with people of any age. How many of us would rather text or email or facebook instead of make a phone call or visit? Many of us even prefer ordering pizza online over calling in. The technology we have today, especially these social networking sites, is incredible and often makes our lives easier, but at what cost? For me, as I was saying, I was enabled to continue not really loving the people that I was 'staying in touch with,' and that is a huge conviction that I was hit with when this whole idea came about. As you read in my last blog, the LORD has really been teaching me a lot about love, and the lessons that I learned really sealed the deal for this fasting idea. If I want to stay in touch with someone, I need to really make an effort beyond checking pictures and status'. My friends need to know that I am concerned about them, hoping they are doing well, and are happy. I'm no longer going to use facebook as a crutch and as an excuse for friendship. Even when I announced, through status, that I was leaving facebook for a while, I quickly realized how many friends I had on there that didn't really care about me and my well being. They wouldn't miss me. There were also those who didn't want me to leave because they wouldn't be able to see what I was doing anymore. It helped to realize that my friendships should be so much deeper than this, but I have let myself remain in those relationships.
Is this all a little much? It hit me hard though. Often I would attempt to have a quiet time to study the Word and the whole time I'd be itching to get on facebook. I could be out volunteering and genuinely caring for people as Christ has called me too, but I spend hours on facebook. I could be reading books and learning incredible things, but instead I pour over facebook. I could be growing as a person, becoming a better me, spending more time caring for my fiance and preparing to be a better wife but instead I put so much time into facebook.
Remember, this is purely personal and individual to me. I'm not trying to put this on anyone else, I'm only explaining why I'm leaving.
But not only am I fasting from facebook, I'm preparing to change a lot of things about my diet and the way I take care of my body...Daniel Fast and P90X here I come!!
I am a facebook addict. Most of us are, honestly. However, I am choosing to do something about this because my addiction is actually holding me back and pulling me down. I don't know when exactly I started to realize this, but my addiction was getting out of hand. You might think I am exaggerating but this is very real to me. I played a few facebook games everyday, two fish tanks and rooms full of cats and dogs, and honestly I would worry about the well being of these virtual pets. I would interrupt conversations or completely miss certain opportunities in order to take care of these pets and click around on facebook. When i started prayerfully considering this facebook fast, I got anxious about deleting my animals, as if I were abandoning living things. Sad, I know.
That's not it. I would spend hours on end profile hopping, status changing, and comment loving, all at the expense of school work and spiritual growth. I'm very serious when I say that I probably spent 3x as much time on facebook as I did studying for school, and my grades showed it. That might even be a modest estimate. This could be your story, and you might be thinking 'big deal, thats just what this generation is about,' but here is where it gets serious. My obsession with facebook became a major stumbling block in my life, spiritually and emotionally. To be completely honest with you all, facebook allowed me to be apathetic and unloving in the lives of many friends and acquaintances. I knew that all I had to do was look at so-and-so's pictures and read such-and-such status update to get my twisted need for knowledge of everyone else's business. Consider this for yourself: facebook has made us incredibly and secretly nosy. Have you ever even thought of it this way?
Yes it's an excellent tool for 'staying in touch' as we all say, but reflect as I am on what this actually means about your ability to care for a person. So many people, especially my generation, are actually nervous about communicating face to face with people of any age. How many of us would rather text or email or facebook instead of make a phone call or visit? Many of us even prefer ordering pizza online over calling in. The technology we have today, especially these social networking sites, is incredible and often makes our lives easier, but at what cost? For me, as I was saying, I was enabled to continue not really loving the people that I was 'staying in touch with,' and that is a huge conviction that I was hit with when this whole idea came about. As you read in my last blog, the LORD has really been teaching me a lot about love, and the lessons that I learned really sealed the deal for this fasting idea. If I want to stay in touch with someone, I need to really make an effort beyond checking pictures and status'. My friends need to know that I am concerned about them, hoping they are doing well, and are happy. I'm no longer going to use facebook as a crutch and as an excuse for friendship. Even when I announced, through status, that I was leaving facebook for a while, I quickly realized how many friends I had on there that didn't really care about me and my well being. They wouldn't miss me. There were also those who didn't want me to leave because they wouldn't be able to see what I was doing anymore. It helped to realize that my friendships should be so much deeper than this, but I have let myself remain in those relationships.
Is this all a little much? It hit me hard though. Often I would attempt to have a quiet time to study the Word and the whole time I'd be itching to get on facebook. I could be out volunteering and genuinely caring for people as Christ has called me too, but I spend hours on facebook. I could be reading books and learning incredible things, but instead I pour over facebook. I could be growing as a person, becoming a better me, spending more time caring for my fiance and preparing to be a better wife but instead I put so much time into facebook.
Remember, this is purely personal and individual to me. I'm not trying to put this on anyone else, I'm only explaining why I'm leaving.
But not only am I fasting from facebook, I'm preparing to change a lot of things about my diet and the way I take care of my body...Daniel Fast and P90X here I come!!
Monday, January 11, 2010
Love
First of all, I lied. Its more like 5 days before I'm blogging again. I've been terribly busy doing all kinds of fun things!
For God so LOVED the world that he gave his only begotten son...
I don't even know where to begin with this blog. It will definitely be a long one. I have learned some incredible things this past week about love. My love and divine love, unfortunately two totally different things. About 2-3 years ago I had been given a revelation about God's love and our response to it. My best friend sydney ( http://sydney-drain.blogspot.com/ ) might remember the night that all this stuff started pouring out of me about the lack of God's love expressed towards each other in the youth group at the time and how I was just now really seeing how this divine love works. It was important to me at the time, but ever since the idea has been lost in the back of my head, and I have made no progress on my ability to understand and to exercise this love. I'm talking about agape. This is probably a familiar word to all or most of you reading this. Agape is a unique greek word for love. It's not the kind of love you have for pizza, for shopping, or for your cat. Agape is entirely unique and rather hard to understand. Let me try to explain myself.
I'm currently going through an amazing study called "Living Beyond Yourself: exploring the fruit of the spirit" by the lovely Beth Moore and, man, did week three hit me hard in the face. I had sort of thought myself rather good at loving and caring for people, when I wanted to be good at it of course, and had even been told this by a mentor in the past. I was lying to myself when I would consider this a skill needing little or no work. Moore talked about eros, the love between a man and a woman, but a grasping love. She talked about Philos which is friend love, and I thought, "Oh good I think I am loving well!" Then she went on to say that we aren't supposed to love like that. God calls us to agape love, for everyone. Now you've probably read 1 Corinthians 13, the passage all about what love is and isn't but I'm going to say what moore said before assigning this passage "Do not let the bug of familiarity bite you" on this one. I want you to see what I saw when I prayerfully went through this passage with the knowledge that I was given by the study.
1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never fails.
I'll go through the characteristics of this incredible divine love (agape, the word used in this passage) just as the study did and share my thoughts on each
1. Agape is PATIENT
greek word:makrothumia
meaning: able to avenge oneself yet refrains from doing so
see also: Romans 12:17-21, Proverbs 25:21-22 for same word or idea
Agape is patient. Agape is essentially forgiving. Paul wants us to understand that being patient is much more than quietly standing in a long line at the post office or waiting without groaning for someone to be ready to leave because you are already late. exercising patience in agape is extreme. Think about the last time that someone really hurt you. Did they say something behind your back? Did you go ahead and say something equally nasty behind theirs? This could be anything, mundane or not.
2. Agape is KIND
greek word: chresteuomai
meaning: to show oneself as useful
How many of you, like myself, thought being kind was smiling at the 'weird kid' in the hallway? I would even allow myself to get away with bitterly praying for people and calling it kindness. And to be honest, being kind was about me. I was going to be that nice girl so that people would remember me and say good things about me. Kindness was vainness, but when Paul says that agape is kind, agape means making yourself useful to others, and there is no way that truly being kind could be about me when I am responding to the needs of others. "Agape volunteers to help" in the words of beth moore.
3. Agape does NOT ENVY
greek word: zeelo
meaning: zealous, in a sense of passionate jealousy
see also: Acts 7:9 for same word choice
This one seems pretty obvious. If you love someone with agape then you could not be jealous of them. Even if you allowed yourself to be loved, agape'd, by God then you could not be envious of anything. God has given everything to us who fear and love Him, what more could we possibly need that our Father would not provide for us?
4. Agape does NOT BOAST
greek word: perpereuomai
meaning: braggart, which is a person who boasts about achievements or possessions
see also: 1 Corinthians 1:27-29, 31
5. Agape is NOT PROUD
for examples of pride see also: 2 Chronicles 26:16, Psalm 10:4, Proverbs 11:2, Daniel 5:20, Obadiah 3, Jeremiah 13:17, and 2 Chronicles 32:26
I shouldn't even be proud of my loving skills for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose (Phillipians 2:!3). It is evident throughout God's word of the results of pride in mankind. God humbles the proud, as he has done me this past week, and He lifts up the lowly.
6. Agape is NOT RUDE
greek word: aschemoneo
meaning: to behave in an ugly, indecent, unseemly or unbecoming manner. to be obscene
I'll just ask of myself, how conditioned am I to obscenity? How often do I behave rudely towards those I say I love dearest?
7. Agape is NOT SELF-SEEKING
see also: 2 Timothy 3:2
this can be expressed by the greek word philautos meaning lover of or friend of self. Is my primary concern to make life ultimately easier for myself?
8. Agape is NOT QUICK TO ANGER
see also: Psalm 145:8, Proverbs 15:1 & 18, Proverbs 16:32, proverbs 19:11, Proverbs 21:19, Proverbs 22:24 -25
9: Agape keeps NO RECORD OF WRONGS
see also: Psalm 103:10-14, Hebrews 10:16-18
Thank GOD He loves is in this way! Can you imagine how different life would be if there were never such things as grudges and unforgiving hearts like our own? Not only does agape keep no record of wrongs, but agape is praying good things for those who wrong you and treating them as if they are the greatest friend. Imagine.
10. Agape does NOT DELIGHT IN EVIL but REJOICES WITH TRUTH
see also: Psalm 119:29-32
11. Agape always PROTECTS
greek word: stego
meaning: to cover over in silence
see also: 1 Peter 4:8
You know what this means? No matter what we know about someone or how well we know someone, we don't expose their faults to others. If we love them with an agape love, we protect their reputations, and seek to not even emphasize their faults to ourselves
12. Agape always TRUSTS
greek word: pisteuo
meaning: to have faith in someone
Do we believe and encourage others?
13. Agape always HOPES
greek word: elpizo
meaning: to expect with desire
see also: 2 Corinthians 8:22-24
14. Agape always PERSEVERES
greek word: hupomeno
meaning: to remain under
If we really love someone with divine love we continue no matter what the struggle
15. Agape NEVER FAILS
greek word: ekpipto
meaning: to be without effect, to be in vain
No matter how hard it is to love someone with this kind of love, if you truly express it God promises that it will never be in vain. How encouraging is that? Maybe you will never see the effect, but God knows and sees and will reward
However! Is Agape love even possible? We are INCAPABLE! Completely! So what the heck are we supposed to do with all of that information? What good is that entire passage in 1 Corinthians? I will tell you this, the only origin of such love is GOD'S HEART. For us love is a feeling, some kind of personal necessity, but as much as we'd like to deny it, our love is conditional. But God does ask of us to love him and eachother with AGAPE. This is a RESPONSE, not a feeling. When we admit to God that we are incapable of what he asks of us, we can then prayerfully consider what he would do and ask God to enable and strengthen us. We act in obedience, RESPONDING to the spirits conviction in us. Ultimately, it is an entirely spiritual thing. it is God who pours agape through us, but a crucial transplant must be made:
We must first desperately and unceasingly pray that our hearts be removed and replaced with the Lord's. It is only then, when he creates in us a clean heart, His own, that we can begin to change lives with Agape, including our own.
What a challenge!
For God so LOVED the world that he gave his only begotten son...
I don't even know where to begin with this blog. It will definitely be a long one. I have learned some incredible things this past week about love. My love and divine love, unfortunately two totally different things. About 2-3 years ago I had been given a revelation about God's love and our response to it. My best friend sydney ( http://sydney-drain.blogspot.com/ ) might remember the night that all this stuff started pouring out of me about the lack of God's love expressed towards each other in the youth group at the time and how I was just now really seeing how this divine love works. It was important to me at the time, but ever since the idea has been lost in the back of my head, and I have made no progress on my ability to understand and to exercise this love. I'm talking about agape. This is probably a familiar word to all or most of you reading this. Agape is a unique greek word for love. It's not the kind of love you have for pizza, for shopping, or for your cat. Agape is entirely unique and rather hard to understand. Let me try to explain myself.
I'm currently going through an amazing study called "Living Beyond Yourself: exploring the fruit of the spirit" by the lovely Beth Moore and, man, did week three hit me hard in the face. I had sort of thought myself rather good at loving and caring for people, when I wanted to be good at it of course, and had even been told this by a mentor in the past. I was lying to myself when I would consider this a skill needing little or no work. Moore talked about eros, the love between a man and a woman, but a grasping love. She talked about Philos which is friend love, and I thought, "Oh good I think I am loving well!" Then she went on to say that we aren't supposed to love like that. God calls us to agape love, for everyone. Now you've probably read 1 Corinthians 13, the passage all about what love is and isn't but I'm going to say what moore said before assigning this passage "Do not let the bug of familiarity bite you" on this one. I want you to see what I saw when I prayerfully went through this passage with the knowledge that I was given by the study.
1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never fails.
I'll go through the characteristics of this incredible divine love (agape, the word used in this passage) just as the study did and share my thoughts on each
1. Agape is PATIENT
greek word:makrothumia
meaning: able to avenge oneself yet refrains from doing so
see also: Romans 12:17-21, Proverbs 25:21-22 for same word or idea
Agape is patient. Agape is essentially forgiving. Paul wants us to understand that being patient is much more than quietly standing in a long line at the post office or waiting without groaning for someone to be ready to leave because you are already late. exercising patience in agape is extreme. Think about the last time that someone really hurt you. Did they say something behind your back? Did you go ahead and say something equally nasty behind theirs? This could be anything, mundane or not.
2. Agape is KIND
greek word: chresteuomai
meaning: to show oneself as useful
How many of you, like myself, thought being kind was smiling at the 'weird kid' in the hallway? I would even allow myself to get away with bitterly praying for people and calling it kindness. And to be honest, being kind was about me. I was going to be that nice girl so that people would remember me and say good things about me. Kindness was vainness, but when Paul says that agape is kind, agape means making yourself useful to others, and there is no way that truly being kind could be about me when I am responding to the needs of others. "Agape volunteers to help" in the words of beth moore.
3. Agape does NOT ENVY
greek word: zeelo
meaning: zealous, in a sense of passionate jealousy
see also: Acts 7:9 for same word choice
This one seems pretty obvious. If you love someone with agape then you could not be jealous of them. Even if you allowed yourself to be loved, agape'd, by God then you could not be envious of anything. God has given everything to us who fear and love Him, what more could we possibly need that our Father would not provide for us?
4. Agape does NOT BOAST
greek word: perpereuomai
meaning: braggart, which is a person who boasts about achievements or possessions
see also: 1 Corinthians 1:27-29, 31
5. Agape is NOT PROUD
for examples of pride see also: 2 Chronicles 26:16, Psalm 10:4, Proverbs 11:2, Daniel 5:20, Obadiah 3, Jeremiah 13:17, and 2 Chronicles 32:26
I shouldn't even be proud of my loving skills for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose (Phillipians 2:!3). It is evident throughout God's word of the results of pride in mankind. God humbles the proud, as he has done me this past week, and He lifts up the lowly.
6. Agape is NOT RUDE
greek word: aschemoneo
meaning: to behave in an ugly, indecent, unseemly or unbecoming manner. to be obscene
I'll just ask of myself, how conditioned am I to obscenity? How often do I behave rudely towards those I say I love dearest?
7. Agape is NOT SELF-SEEKING
see also: 2 Timothy 3:2
this can be expressed by the greek word philautos meaning lover of or friend of self. Is my primary concern to make life ultimately easier for myself?
8. Agape is NOT QUICK TO ANGER
see also: Psalm 145:8, Proverbs 15:1 & 18, Proverbs 16:32, proverbs 19:11, Proverbs 21:19, Proverbs 22:24 -25
9: Agape keeps NO RECORD OF WRONGS
see also: Psalm 103:10-14, Hebrews 10:16-18
Thank GOD He loves is in this way! Can you imagine how different life would be if there were never such things as grudges and unforgiving hearts like our own? Not only does agape keep no record of wrongs, but agape is praying good things for those who wrong you and treating them as if they are the greatest friend. Imagine.
10. Agape does NOT DELIGHT IN EVIL but REJOICES WITH TRUTH
see also: Psalm 119:29-32
11. Agape always PROTECTS
greek word: stego
meaning: to cover over in silence
see also: 1 Peter 4:8
You know what this means? No matter what we know about someone or how well we know someone, we don't expose their faults to others. If we love them with an agape love, we protect their reputations, and seek to not even emphasize their faults to ourselves
12. Agape always TRUSTS
greek word: pisteuo
meaning: to have faith in someone
Do we believe and encourage others?
13. Agape always HOPES
greek word: elpizo
meaning: to expect with desire
see also: 2 Corinthians 8:22-24
14. Agape always PERSEVERES
greek word: hupomeno
meaning: to remain under
If we really love someone with divine love we continue no matter what the struggle
15. Agape NEVER FAILS
greek word: ekpipto
meaning: to be without effect, to be in vain
No matter how hard it is to love someone with this kind of love, if you truly express it God promises that it will never be in vain. How encouraging is that? Maybe you will never see the effect, but God knows and sees and will reward
However! Is Agape love even possible? We are INCAPABLE! Completely! So what the heck are we supposed to do with all of that information? What good is that entire passage in 1 Corinthians? I will tell you this, the only origin of such love is GOD'S HEART. For us love is a feeling, some kind of personal necessity, but as much as we'd like to deny it, our love is conditional. But God does ask of us to love him and eachother with AGAPE. This is a RESPONSE, not a feeling. When we admit to God that we are incapable of what he asks of us, we can then prayerfully consider what he would do and ask God to enable and strengthen us. We act in obedience, RESPONDING to the spirits conviction in us. Ultimately, it is an entirely spiritual thing. it is God who pours agape through us, but a crucial transplant must be made:
We must first desperately and unceasingly pray that our hearts be removed and replaced with the Lord's. It is only then, when he creates in us a clean heart, His own, that we can begin to change lives with Agape, including our own.
What a challenge!
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Ashamed
Just a quick blog today, something I've been thinking about for the past month.
It's not christmas any more (obviously) but I just thought I'd post something real quick
Average amount of money spent on christmas presents annually in America: $450 billion
Cost to solve the WORLD'S clean water problem once and for all: $10 billion
Does this make anyone else feel incredibly ashamed? How many times have you bought a present for someone just because you felt obligated, because you expected a present from them?
I'm going to update tomorrow or the day after a bit about Love. Some things that I have been learning. I thought that statistic might be something good for you (whoever you are) and myself to think about before the next post. The information is from a website that is included as a link on this post. The idea presented there is really pulling at my heart.
It's not christmas any more (obviously) but I just thought I'd post something real quick
Average amount of money spent on christmas presents annually in America: $450 billion
Cost to solve the WORLD'S clean water problem once and for all: $10 billion
Does this make anyone else feel incredibly ashamed? How many times have you bought a present for someone just because you felt obligated, because you expected a present from them?
I'm going to update tomorrow or the day after a bit about Love. Some things that I have been learning. I thought that statistic might be something good for you (whoever you are) and myself to think about before the next post. The information is from a website that is included as a link on this post. The idea presented there is really pulling at my heart.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Discipline
Yes, I am working on updating this thing often. Only third one of course, but closer dates! Anyways, I have decided on the destiny of this blog. I will try my hardest to avoid making this a diary, especially considering its public, but I will blog about my experiences as I live such a life as this at the ripe age of 18. And advice will be offered to those who ask. I'd like to think that I am good at that. Regardless, I want to be as real as I can be with every reader who scrolls around on my page.
So...
It isn't easy being young and telling people that I will soon be married
It also isn't easy being a christian philosophy student
And it is especially not easy being a christian at all
But what good would an easy life do anyone? We all can say "oh I'm so glad that year is over, I went through so much" We all did. We all lived life, and whether it is fun, a breeze or challenging it is beautiful. Sometimes I will still my mind and think of only this: I exist. I remember the first time I really thought about this in high school. I was sitting in a classroom and for a brief moment, it hit me. I am a person who exists and interacts with other people who exists. I have an impact on the people around me. I can walk, talk, breath, and think. Does this put anyone else in awe? What if my mother and father had never met, or married, or even decided they wanted a second child and tried when they did. They weren't perfect for each other and gave it a good 14 years before they called it quits, but they tried and I came out of that attempt. And the fact that I have experienced the relationships, challenges , tragedies, and joys that I have is what has truly orchestrated who I am today. Now I believe firmly that God works together all things for the good of those who love Him. Pertaining to that I sometimes wonder why me? How did I start loving Him? And why did he even love us first?
I long to be the kind of person who can really learn from every experience and do so without complaint. Maybe this blog will help me remember the lessons I learn in the very adventurous years I am embarking on for what is ahead is truly fantastic!
So...
It isn't easy being young and telling people that I will soon be married
It also isn't easy being a christian philosophy student
And it is especially not easy being a christian at all
But what good would an easy life do anyone? We all can say "oh I'm so glad that year is over, I went through so much" We all did. We all lived life, and whether it is fun, a breeze or challenging it is beautiful. Sometimes I will still my mind and think of only this: I exist. I remember the first time I really thought about this in high school. I was sitting in a classroom and for a brief moment, it hit me. I am a person who exists and interacts with other people who exists. I have an impact on the people around me. I can walk, talk, breath, and think. Does this put anyone else in awe? What if my mother and father had never met, or married, or even decided they wanted a second child and tried when they did. They weren't perfect for each other and gave it a good 14 years before they called it quits, but they tried and I came out of that attempt. And the fact that I have experienced the relationships, challenges , tragedies, and joys that I have is what has truly orchestrated who I am today. Now I believe firmly that God works together all things for the good of those who love Him. Pertaining to that I sometimes wonder why me? How did I start loving Him? And why did he even love us first?
I long to be the kind of person who can really learn from every experience and do so without complaint. Maybe this blog will help me remember the lessons I learn in the very adventurous years I am embarking on for what is ahead is truly fantastic!
Friday, January 1, 2010
The resolve to blog
Happy New Year!
I just watched Julia & Julie, for the second time, and was inevitably inspired to blog. I couldn't help myself. I am becoming one of the thousands of people who hope that maybe one day, they could be a blogger. You know, a blogger Basically famous for wittiness, brilliance, intelligence. Something like that. Now that I think of it, that aspiration might be the one thing that keeps me wordless with a blank screen. It's the pressure. So instead I'll make an attempt at being myself. However, what in the world will I blog about? I don't have any diseases or disorders to track. I'm not particularly talented in any way. I have plenty of opinions but perhaps not the right words to express them. I certainly don't want this to turn into a 'Dear Diary' situation. Maybe I could give advice, which would make this a 'Dear Alice' situation instead.
Oh, Dear. I guess I'll have think about this.
I just watched Julia & Julie, for the second time, and was inevitably inspired to blog. I couldn't help myself. I am becoming one of the thousands of people who hope that maybe one day, they could be a blogger. You know, a blogger Basically famous for wittiness, brilliance, intelligence. Something like that. Now that I think of it, that aspiration might be the one thing that keeps me wordless with a blank screen. It's the pressure. So instead I'll make an attempt at being myself. However, what in the world will I blog about? I don't have any diseases or disorders to track. I'm not particularly talented in any way. I have plenty of opinions but perhaps not the right words to express them. I certainly don't want this to turn into a 'Dear Diary' situation. Maybe I could give advice, which would make this a 'Dear Alice' situation instead.
Oh, Dear. I guess I'll have think about this.
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